Welcome to the blog. Please Read. Information about me, the blog's contents and a Trigger Warning are all here.

This is the place that I wish I would have been able to create on November,18 2012. That was the day that my wife died. 

I was pretty young and as the title of the blog states, a Father of 3. I'll get all into that in a minute though. 

I was just not in the proper headspace to create such a space so I used my EXISTING space on the Internet to give out my thoughts, feelings, etc in real time. My existing space was a hodge podge of Internet debauchery, mixed in with my own feelings about everything in Life. 

It let TONS of people I knew personally, have a place to read my thoughts. I'm grateful for that place. I may still write posts there too, if you happen to stumble upon it. 

I think it's time, a decade later, to put it all in one place. A place where one can read solely about my Widowerhood.

In the other space, I provided pictures. Proof of my wife's death. Etc. My kids pictures are smattered about there. I'm not really sure I'll do that here. I might, for authenticity purposes, to show I'm not just some A.I. bot, sputtering out fancy words and 'well crafted' sentences. 

My kids are all almost grown now though so I probably won't share as much in that way here. I will share some of their story here as it pertains to me but I'll not be attempting not to overshare too much. 

Also, I'll probably be writing these entries in 'all of the persons'. Meaning, First person. Second person. Third person. This is not an English paper so if messages get dilluted for you by the lack of formality, this may not be the place for you to glean the information you seek. 

I WILL be taking PAST posts from other places I've written in because ... they are already written. Duh! 

In all seriousness, I will be using them because they represent themselves well because they were my feelings at that time in the moment. Good. Bad. Or indifferent. Also because they are ALREADY WRITTEN. Raw emotions are good sometimes. Especially with this topic. 

Whether you are dealing with the loss of your spouse, dealing with the child of a home that was affected by the loss of said spouse, dating a person who has lost a spouse or a maybe you are dealing with your own parent as they navigate the loss of your mother, most you who will find this blog are here for a reason. I don't know your reason but you are here so I welcome you. 

I do need you to know this though. 

Of course I want to HELP people. 

Of course this is 'therapy' for me. To this day. A decade or more later...

Of course you may be dealing with or know someone who is dealing with the very scenarios of Widowerhood that I just outlined in the previous paragraph. You may EVEN want to BLINDLY apply the things that I've done since I've been widowed and say 'That's the RIGHT ANSWER AND THIS IS HOW YOU HAVE TO DO IT..." to that person or yourself. 

Do me, yourself and your loved one a favor and DO NOT DO THAT. Resist that initial urge. Please. I'm begging you. 

There is no 'right way' to do this so don't go BLINDLY taking my scenarios and go painting with a broad brush. It's not fair. It's not right. 

In the event that something I've said here does seem to apply to your situation, that's fine. Do you but understand that you are still dealing with a human who has their own mind. Remember that about yourself too. Don't set yourself up to fail by approaching this like you would a recipe for a dope cake you ate that one time. This is not that. 

Do NOT go using what I did in my situation to go harass or belittle a fellow widower. I'm not here for that. You will probably see me restate this fact over and over in the posts. It's a thing that I seen done far too often and it is PERSONAL for me. 

People cherry picking what they saw others do and EXPECTING the widower in their situation to react/do/act in LOCKSTEP with scenarios they've read about over the Internet/in a book. 

This is real Life. Folks are different and every circumstance should be looked at in it's own merit. Do not use my words/situation to manipulate someone into acting the way you want them to. That is just foul. 

Are there good things you can do when you are in this situation? Yes. There are a few routes you could take, depending on your situation. I know for a fact that the route I took isn't for everyone. It just isn't. I was not nor will ever make the right decision at every turn either though. That's Life. 

I also need you to know that there will be 'blue language' here. I'll try to keep it to a simmer but the topic runs hot, as some of you know. I know you may know because you've found your way here. Somehow. It will get hectic and the 'blue words' will be the ones that resonate the most at times. 

I may speak about therapy in the posts. I may not be pushing it on you but I will be speaking on it. 

I will be talking about Suicide here. It's an important cog in my particular story. It may be a trigger for you. Consider this your warning in regards to that. I fully understand if you cannot continue to read for your own mental health and I thank you for your time. 

SN: This is a post that I may add on to in the future since it's the VERY FIRST ONE here.